2020-02-13 | Subject | Bathrooms and Shit
I had a dirty bathroom dream again. It was more graphic than normal. There were many stalls. All open, in disarray, dirty, and broken. I've probably had this dream in various forms fifty times that I remember. I actually saw shit smears this time.
Ballou told me once that she thought friendship should grow organically. I think what she meant was that we often tend to force things, project things, or imagine things, but friendships should really grow like vines with posts and fertilizer and sun. This is related because I looked up dirty bathrooms (again) on dream moods. What a fabulous site. It is too bad their search engine is broken. I think for a long time I have had these dreams because I need to move on. I need to cleanse myself of old emotions.
And, so, that is what I intend to do. It is very difficult for me. I have clung too hard to the past, those that knew me. It is time to look forward, embrace those who seek me out, old, strong friends from the past, and find new friends as well. I need to quit reaching back in embarrassing silence.forest