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2019-10-22 | Journal | News Fluffer

The hardest lesson for me to learn is that most people are generally happy enough with things the way they are, that they don't explore divergent realities that they might individually create or experience. They might complain about our current reality. They might wring their hands in frustration. They might act as a socio-political fluffer of the rolling top twenty current idea stars, but they have too much invested in the way things are to come up with an entirely new movie. They don't feel empowered. They don't have time to think too much about how things could be for themselves, for the world. They don't have time to work on anything related to how things could be. They don't have time to seriously face current reality, but at the same time, current reality consumes people's energy, attention, and imagination.

People recycle. People participate in the community. People vote. People have favorite sports teams. People do the entrepreneurial thing. People have hobbies. People make their business more efficient. People create new avenues for revenue with their employer. People have opinions about politics and society. People have causes. People deliver fruit baskets and bandages to neighbors and the sick. People create an entire world of values and stories around all of this, a weave of significance and identity. That isn't what I'm talking about. I'm talking about the weird ideas, the strange books and connections, the unknown destination of seven people on a three hour coffee tour towards a new place, fueled by french fries, where they end up stranded - the disassociative experience of letting another's alternative reality play out in your own over twenty years or more if necessary - played out until it explodes, implodes or is fully, fractally formed. I'm talking about consuming projects, divergent, strange realities that have the capability to transform our current and future world.

When I was young - bopping around communal households, living in the back of my truck, in my Step Van, and cabin... talking for hours with others that had an abundance of time - most people I knew were interested in figuring out new ways to be in the future and change the present. I experienced this with many different people, people who discussed alternative worlds and sweeping new ideas. Some who might read this were there, and did experience this with me, and that is part of what drew me to you in my life or vice versa. Some of you showed me some of the most interesting and fascinating things about the world and ideas, and I am grateful for that. I started out quite innocent and oblivious. For fifteen years, when I was aged 16 to 31 or so, most people I knew had the time, capacity, and interest to travel the stranger routes of imagination.

I don't think I ever let go of that time. Perhaps I just never grew up? I am stuck in that mode of thinking. I follow every thread until I have gone further than most people find reasonable, until my ideas are thought of as crazy. It is not really my priority to judge the ideas first; I follow them until I see what fruit they bear, even if the fruit is my own creation and illusion. I am a pariah more often than not; I'm not safe to engage. I'm a bore or suspicious. I'm not right somehow. There are certainly exceptions. This isn't an attack on those I know. This is just my perspective most of the time. It isn't even about value. I don't believe that I can know for certain that anything I may explore actually is helpful in the end. I feel I have an obligation to do my best to try for that, but there is a foolish arrogance in knowing. I do try again and again, and I do follow those threads as far as they will take me. And, for those few people who happen to intersect in interest and time, I cherish those that remain. I just miss the days when almost everybody I knew also had the time and the capacity to travel with me.

ouroboros work